Billy Joel’s “She’s Got a Way About Her,” Edited by Men on Dating Apps

*with apologies to Billy Joel

She’s got a way about her

I don’t know what it is because I didn’t actually read her profile

But I know that I can’t live life to the fullest without her as my partner in crime

She’s got a way of pleasin’

I don’t know what it is, but I assume most women want to please strange men from Match.com

But there doesn’t have to be a reason

Anyway (but the reason is probably that she’s super turned on by this picture of me holding a fish)

She’s got a smile that heals me

I don’t know why it is that I so badly need women to smile, but I definitely do

But I have to laugh when she reveals me, or at least that’s what my therapist suggested as an alternative to my usual tendency to completely lose my shit the second I sense any woman is not taking me as seriously as I feel I deserve

She’s got a way of talkin, and talkin’, and talkin’, and talkin’, you know how women are

I don’t know what it is, but it must be that they’re needy and desperate, and I am so NOT INTO DRAMA, which is something I wrote on my Hinge profile in the same…