Dating App Convos to Ditch: Here’s How You Know

Jennie Young
4 min readMay 20, 2023

This article is not about the exchanges that are in-your-face hellish — the offensive, aggressive, hostile, downright-insane conversations; that decision is easy — block him. This story is about the *rest* of the dating app convos (the unfortunate *most* of them).

I work with women who are fed up with the current disaster of online dating, and, in addition to the typical complaints about fish pics and dreadful grammar, these are the typical complaints I hear:

  • “It’s like most men don’t even know how to have a simple conversation.”
  • “If I don’t keep asking them questions about themselves, the conversation just ends.”
  • “I get the feeling they might be copying and pasting messages from other conversations? Like, something feels ‘off’, but he didn’t really do anything WRONG, so maybe it’s me?”
  • “They start talking about sex immediately. Is that normal?”

No, it’s not normal, and no, it’s not you, but spend enough time on a dating app and you’ll find yourself second-guessing things you’ve understood all your life and that you never wrestle with in any interaction outside of a dating app. You’ll find yourself contorting into positions that range from boring to uncomfortable to terrifying. And you’ll do these things not because there’s anything…



Jennie Young

Professor and humor writer in Green Bay. McSweeney’s, The Independent, HuffPost, Ms. Mag, Education Week, Inside Higher Ed, Slackjaw, Weekly Humorist, others.