Dear Amazon Prime Members: We’re Adding Sex Workers!
Dear Valued Amazon Prime Member:
Beginning Spring 2021, Amazon Prime will begin stocking and delivering sex workers. We’re harnessing all of Prime’s customer service and logistics to meet your sex worker needs, just in time for summer. Sex worker procurement and delivery is a natural fit for Amazon Prime and will allow us to capitalize on many things we already do very well. We have so many trucks.
In addition to trucks, we have warehouse space in which to house our “sex-working associates,” storage-lockers for immediate local pickups, and a strong and well-documented history of worker exploitation and abusive labor practices. As we said, this is a natural fit.
Before getting into the exciting details, we want to respond to some anticipated objections, most of which were raised during beta testing:
Some of our members are concerned about exploitation of sex-workers. We’d like to remind our members that Amazon Prime will only be distributing already-established sex workers. We do not plan to force anyone into sex work; we’re simply prepared to step in and e̶x̶p̶l̶o̶i̶t̶ support the industry, much like we did with Whole Foods.
Was Whole Foods our idea? No. But it was there and people were buying it, so we streamlined it and made it more accessible to all…
