How to Teach your Facebook Friends Appropriate Facebook Behavior

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  1. Do not respond to nor acknowledge vaguebooking. Ever ever. This is both mandatory and difficult, because vaguebook posts almost always hint toward some sort of hardship, and human empathy dictates that we sympathize, even if we have no idea of what happened or why we are sympathizing. In all other human interactions I am a big believer in empathy and sympathy. But not with vaguebooking.

Future columns will address how to handle the following genres of posts: “seeking sympathy for first-world problems without recognizing their first-worldedness” and “overly celebrating completely normal and totally unimpressive things my child did/said.”

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English professor and humor writer based in Green Bay. McSweeney’s, Points in Case, HuffPost, Slackjaw, Little Old Lady Comedy, Human Parts, others.

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