How to Apply "No-Makeup" Makeup: A Guide for Mature Women 1. Gather lots of makeup. However much makeup you think it will take to achieve the no-makeup look, it will take far…www.mcsweeneys.net

Prayer of the Assistant Professor Going up for Tenure Please, Tenure Gods of My Institution, please find it within Yourselves to grant me tenure by looking to your own…www.mcsweeneys.net

Jesus Christ Applies for VP of Student Success To the Hiring Committee: My name is Jesus Christ, and I am applying for the posted position of Vice President of…www.mcsweeneys.net

Of All Your Teaching Skills, Passion Is the Most Important Dear Prospective Teacher, Are you passionate? I mean, REALLY passionate? Are you so passionate it hurts? Because here's…www.mcsweeneys.net

Boundary Crossings™ is the most robust and terrifying student-tracking and success software available in higher education. Your first question might be, “Whose boundaries are going to be crossed?” The short answer to that is, “Everyone’s.” Definitely students’, that goes without saying, but faculty and staff may experience significant discomfort as…

This article is not about the exchanges that are in-your-face hellish — the offensive, aggressive, hostile, downright-insane conversations; that decision is easy — block him. This story is about the *rest* of the dating app convos (the unfortunate *most* of them). I work with women who are fed up with…

*with apologies to Billy Joel She’s got a way about her I don’t know what it is because I didn’t actually read her profile But I know that I can’t live life to the fullest without her as my partner in crime She’s got a way of pleasin’ I don’t…

Like many single women who are searching for long-term partners, I had set up carefully-curated Hinge and Match.com profiles, and I doggedly scrolled and swiped, messaged and liked, all of it adding up to absolutely nothing except lost time and compromised mental health. I kept thinking, we’ve got to be…

Hi Ladies. I get it: you’re sick of meeting men who are “afraid of commitment” or “really busy with work” or any of the other fairy tales my gender loves to tell. Most of all, you’re done with guys who are emotionally unavailable and unevolved. I realize that most of…